Baby Talk
by Domomomo
Summary: Yosuke and Chie, though incredibly adept at slaying Shadows, clearly need to train more in the realm of parenting. Yosuke/Chie.
1. Resemblence

Three months after the birth of their beautiful daughter, Fuuyuko, Yosuke finally came to the conclusion that something was off about her.

"Hey, Chie, can we talk?"

"_Shhh!_" Chie hissed, gently maneuvering the child in her arms to transfer her to the crib. It became apparent to Yosuke that Chie had gone right back to training as soon as the baby was born; how else would she be able to glare viciously at Yosuke while quickly putting Fuuyuko into her bed? Man, his girlfriend was hardcore. "What do you want, Yosuke?" Chie's voice was slightly raised as she closed the door to the baby's bedroom, her glare less forceful, yet still discomforting.

Yosuke attempted to select his words carefully, spouting various nonsensical syllables as he struggled. His words were found for him in the form of an irritated Chie smacking him roughly on the arm. "H-Hey, that hurt! Geez...Anyway, I was wondering...uhm...you don't sleep around and fuck other guys, right?"

Unfortunately, Yosuke had never been strong linguistically.

_"...WHAT?"_

"Y-You know, like Souji, Kanji, or that kid Kou from high school..."

Unfortunately, Yosuke had never been strong mentally either.

_"YOSUKE, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! TAKE THIS!" _Even more unfortunate was the fact that the couple was indoors, so instead of being Galactic Punted out of existence Yosuke found himself buried in the sheet rock wall of their shithole apartment. "You retarded little bitch, I oughta-!"

"P-Please, Chie, just let me explain, I have a reason! Please don't hurt me!" Yosuke squealed, finally managing to yank his head out of the hole. The unexpected freedom of his head in addition to the amount of force he applied caused Yosuke to land on his ass, falling over completely until his eyes connected with her furious ones. Through his rather unmanly state of terror Yosuke felt a twinge of disappointment at the fact that Chie was no longer the spunky high school girl who wore short, short skirts no matter what time of year.

Then again, her personality hadn't changed all that much, still very spunky. Still very, very angry. "You have thirty seconds to explain yourself and apologize, Hanamura, or I'll crush your fucking head."

Shit, she was calling him Hanamura. Only one thing to do: every little thing she says. "Fuuyuko looks nothing like me!" Chie's expression of rage faltered a little, but her impatient silence was just as effective in telling him to continue. "H-Here, just look-" Yosuke rummaged around in his back pocket, retrieving his wallet and pulling out a photo of him and the baby "-see the difference? I don't look anything like her! And her eyes kinda look like Kanji's-"

"Kanji is _gay_, you dumbass!"

"O-Or Souji's-"

"He's married to Ai!"

"Or even Dojima-san's!"

The rebuttal that was on her tongue died instantly, all of her brain processes frozen by his amazing show of stupidity. As always, though, Chie let her body do the talking, a heavy stomp to the stomach effectively shutting him up (save for the pathetic whimpers of pain that followed). With a sigh of irritation, she began to console him. "Yosuke, haven't you ever _seen_ my dad? His eyes are the same color."

"Holy _fuck_, Chie, you had sex with your _dad_?"

_STOMP_. More pathetic sobbing.

"No, you idiot, it's in my genes! Because my dad has them I have that gene!" Chie hollered, her brain struggling to explain the biology lessons Yukiko had taught her a couple years ago.

"What? Your eyes are _brown_, Chie, not grey."

"W-well sorry for not understanding how it works! I'm a police officer, not some genius scientist!" The couple then fell silent for a few moments, both puzzling over this which was too complex for two C average students.

"...Who told you that?" Yosuke muttered finally, his eyes staring up at the ceiling and still lost in thought.

Chie replied with a mumbled "Yukiko" as she moved to the floor to lay beside him, curling one of his sprawled arms over her shoulder. He didn't acknowledge this, however, eyes still focusing upwards.

"She's dumb."

"Like you're one to talk, moron."

"...She doesn't have hair like mine either."

With a roll of the eyes and a huff of irritation Chie reached across him and snatched the wallet from his other hand, holding the picture up to where they both could see. "First off, your hair is bleached, so of course she's not gonna have orange hair like yours. She has black hair, though, like yours used to be."

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, black hair exactly like the rest of the Japanese population."

"Except for all of those guys you mentioned before."

"Kou has black hair."

"Okay, _besides_ him. But here, look at her face." Chie called his attention back to the photo, her index finger pointing to Fuuyuko's nose. "See that? Her nose is exactly like yours. And her chin kinda is too."

Yosuke's eyes widened a little, for the first time noticing the features that did indeed look like his own. "You really think so?"

Chie quirked a small smile, nuzzling his shoulder tiredly and shutting her eyes. "Yup."

"Huh, she really does."

"Mhmm."

"...She looks a lot more like me than you, Chie. I mean, seriously, I wouldn't have thought she was yours if I didn't watch that whole gross birth-"

_"Shut up, Hanamura."_


	2. Kicking

"Yosuke, she's kicking again!"

In an instant Yosuke was standing in front of Chie with a hand on her stomach, not wanting to miss this chance to feel Fuuyuko's movements as he had every other time. (Chie liked to joke that the baby did it on purpose, to which Yosuke said that Fuuyuko was trying to break out so she could see him.) He nearly jumped in surprise as he felt a tiny kick against his hand, much more forcefully than he thought a little body like that was capable of. He gaped in awe as the baby kicked him a second time, then again a few moments later.

"I-I felt it! Fuuyuko's kicking me!"

Chie watched the scene fondly, chuckling as Yosuke eagerly awaited another.

"She kicks really hard. She probably got it from you. I'll have to teach her not to beat the shit out of the guy she likes when she gets old enough."

"Which reminds me; you never got me a new copy of _Trial of the Dragon_."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHIE."


	3. Vampire

"You're pregnant."

"Yes."

"With a baby."

"Of course, stupid."

"And it's mine?"

"Who else's?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Yukiko. She was there when I found out."

"...You're pregnant."

"_Yes_, Yosuke."

"Can we claw it out like in that one vampire story-"

"_NO,_ Yosuke."


End file.
